Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just invented taco cereal.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
