Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
don't judge my taste in strippers
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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