How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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