She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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