Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
