I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
