how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
