he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
