I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
