Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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