I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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