we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
