Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
