a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
