i just had sex bonerless
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize