I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
