there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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