how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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