How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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