how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
