I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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