woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My ass is underappreciated
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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