Your face is a jimmy john
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
