he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
