how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I have post one night stand depression
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
