Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
