doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
