TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
