with your own penis?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
