So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
