you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
