listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
where am i from again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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