Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well I just put wine in my tea
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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