my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize