but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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