Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
sex in a hospital.. check
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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