you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sext me about skeletons
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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