I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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