The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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