just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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