I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sext me about skeletons
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
