can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
