Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
