I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
