i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
