after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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