Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
