"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
