that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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