Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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