mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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