I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
