Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
