i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
