where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
