K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
