if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
