Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
