You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize