I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
