I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
