All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
