Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
